I Lost Myself

Lately, I feel so stressed. And as a result, I tend to go to bed late. I don’t know but until this very day, it seems like I haven’t practiced stress management very well. When something comes that doesn’t align with what I want, I overreact and stress suddenly comes in. Maybe that’s the effect of being a perfectionist. Since then I’ve always wanted everything to be orderly. If one thing falls out of line, expect that I’d burst out and rant and rant and rant. LOL!

The effect of stress and lack of sleep impacted my life negatively. I became so unproductive to the point that I won’t do anything all day — just holding my phone, updating my social media accounts, taking a bath and eating. That’s how my days typically have become. My husband was even wondering why I suddenly became lazy. It seems like I lost myself — my old productive, jolly self.

Even me, I was beginning to question myself. Am I depressed? Am I sick? What’s the matter with me? Why am I like this?

Until I realized one thing: I LOST MY DRIVE AND MOTIVATION TO BE PRODUCTIVE. I TECHNICALLY LOST MYSELF.

I became overwhelmed with everything that’s happening in my “career”. I was focused on my online life that I forgot my “reality”. I neglected the people who matter most to me — MY FAMILY.

I feel sorry that I used most of my time in social media without realizing that my family needed me. I could have done both actually but I failed to do it.

And now, with what happened, I realized that I should practice time management more effectively. Yes, the projects are just there and I can make time for them. But my children and my husband need me more. They should still be my priority next to our God Almighty.